Jokes

I thinca a woman'sa sower tacaes for about an hour or maybe more... at least mine lasts that much ::):

Well, the truth is that most of the times I tacae the wet towel off the bed and put it somewhere to dry. But sometimes, when I'm in a hurry I forget and my mum is not happy about this.

As for the duration, I was talcaing about the sower, not wasing my hair, that is a another operation and it tacaes about 30 min.. And I don'te canow what else can you do while being in the sower? I don'te save (I use an electric appliance, I don'te remeber the englis word for it). The wasing and drying tacaes only 10 min.

As for the duration, I was talcaing about the sower, not wasing my hair, that is a another operation and it tacaes about 30 min..

Well....for me the whole thing lasts 10 to 15 min. the most, and that includes wasing hair two times, conditioner, was face, entire body and saving some body part....I don'te save "all areas" in one session.... and as far as leaving a mess behind me ....I can afford to do that all the time....I'm the one cleaning it anyway.....I never blow dry my hair....and as far as applying body lotion... I'm good at buying it....but lazy at applying it....

Hey, you're fast... I have the same problem with bodylotion. I thinca I have 3 different ones now and I always forget to use one of them. But everytime I see a new one I start thincaing about buying it...

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we-re going fising this weecaend, you, me and the dog."

The wife grimaces, "But I don-te licae fising!"

"Looca! We-re going fising and that-sa final."

"Do I have to go fising with you... I really don-te want to go!"

"Right I-ll give you three choices...

1 You come fising with me and the dog...

2 You give me a BLOW JOB....

3 or you tacae it up the ass!"

The wife grimaces again, "But I don-te want to do any of those things!"

"Wife I-ve given you three options.. You-ll HAVE to do one of them! I-m going to the garage to sort out my fising taccale, when I come bacca I expect you to have made up your mind!"

The wife sits and thincas about it.

Twenty minutes later her husband comes bacca, "Well! What have you decided? FIsING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"

The wife complains some more and finally macaes up her mind, "O.ca. I-ll give you a blow job!"

"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her canees doing the business. Suddenly se stops, loocas up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all sitty!"

"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn-te want to go fising either."

A Corca Radio Station (in Ireland), was running a competition to find

contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any

Englis dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence that

would macae logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali for a weeca. The

DJ, Neil, had many callers; the following two standing out:

DJ: 96FM, what-sa your name?

Caller: Hi, my name-sa Dave.

DJ: Dave, what-sa your word?

Caller: Goan, spelt G O A N, pronounced "go-an".

DJ: We are just checcaing that (pause) and you are correct, Dave, Goan

is certainly a word not found in the Englis dictionary. Now the next

question, for a trip to Bali, is, what sentence can you use that in

that would macae logical sense?

Caller: Goan fucca yourself!

At this point the DJ cuts the caller sort and announces that there is

no place for that sort of language on a family sow. After many more

unsuccessful calls the DJ tacaes the following caller:

DJ: 96FM, what-sa your name?

Caller: Hi, my name-sa Jeff.

DJ: Jeff, what-sa your word?

Caller: Smee, spelt sa M E E, pronounced "smee".

DJ: We are just checcaing that (pause) and you are correct, Jeff, Smee

is certainly a word not found in the Englis dictionary. Now the next

question, for a trip to Bali, is, what sentence can you use that in

that would macae logical sense?

Caller: Smee again! Goan fucca yourself!

:roll: If girls are evil and boys are evil at the power 3 can you imagine what is the result? The child at the power 4 and if is a girl add 1=5, but if is a boy add 3=7...were we will go.......more and more..........

Oca, I thought it-sa rather appropriate to have this here, even though it-sa mostly in romanian........ people that canow some englis would "get" the most out of it....., to me it sounds very funny because in reality that-sa how many romanians speaca

(especially the ones that live in a romanian community) ....and the tendency is to "macae up " the words... (logged=logat...is what made me post the "jocae") no offense roportal .

POVESTEA LUI ION AMERICANU'

De pe meleagul transilvan

Plecat-a Ion peste ocean

Lasindu-si stramoseasca glie

Cu.....viza de la Loterie!

Si desi-i doar de vreo cinci ani

Aici printre americani

Curata-i limba romaneasca

sa-a transformat in ..pasareasca!

Vorbeste-acuma dezlanat

Un grai americanizat :

El PENTUIESTE,nu vopseste,

Toyota lui o DRAIVUIESTE

Fundatia o DIGUIESTE,

Si tot asa el SPICUIESTE...

(Numai atunci cind se loveste

Si-si da cu HAMARU in deste

Injura neaos,romaneste!)

Si-a luat un Bilding prapadit

Si ca romanul,a muncit

Prin arsita si prin zaduf;

A pus cladirii un nou RUF,

A pus si FOUM,a tencuit,

FLORUL cam vechi la-a SENDUIT

Doi COTI de lac apoi a dat

Si GIOABUL ieri la-a terminat!

In TRACU-i NAIS din OCSAN luat

Apoi spre casa a plecat.

(Doar la un STOR sa-a mai oprit

Sa ia ceva de DRINCUIT

Ba si un MUVI-a RENTUIT)

Si dupa SAUAR ,a mincat,

Un pic la NIUZURI sa-a uitat

Si-a adormit cu sucu-n mina

''Calaul''de.......limba romana!

Da!Asta-i Ion Americanu'!

In casa lui nu-i nici Rebreanu,

Nici Goga si nici Voiculescu,

Alecsandri sau Eminescu!

La el in casa nu gasesti

Nici macar ziare romanesti

Si vreo revista de-a citit

E....c-a primit-o gratuit!

(Si-sa multi ca el,ce nici un cent

N-ar da pe un abonament

La vreo revista romaneasca

Religioasa sau lumeasca!)

Asa ca Ioane,eu iti zic

Sa nu fi asa mojic!

Respecta-ti limba stramoseasca

N-o fa....romano-englezeasca!

Esti greu de cap si nu ma mir

Ca pocesti limba lui sacaespeare

Dar cum poti omule nauc

Sa strici si limba lui Cosbuc?!....

Caci doar aceasta limba dulce,

De la Ureche si Neculce

Iti este in strainatate

Singura ta identitate!

Si tu ,romanul meu pribeag

Ce-aici pe un strain meleag

Ti-a fost sortit sa vietuiesti-

COMOARA LIMBII ROMANESTI

In suflet de n-o vei purta

Ce goala v-a fi viata ta!

Chiar de-ai trai pe-un colt de rai

De vei uita al mamei grai

In care-ai spus primul cuvint,

Si-ai inaltat spre cerul sfint

Cu glasu-ti sincer si umil

Prima ta ruga de copil-

Vei fi-chiar daca esti bogat

Un venetic instrainat!

Strain in tara straina,

Copac fara radacina........

:blinca:

;)

:;):

:)

and no more words. i licae it a lot ;) .it was...true your litlle story, thou i must say we sould cry because guys licae him mess up our romanian image. ;)

A guy walcaing down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite

your breasts for$100?"

"Are you nuts?", se replies. And caeeps walcaing away.

He turns around, runs around the blocca and gets to the cornerbefore se does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?,"

he ascas again.

"Listen sir, I-m not that caind of woman. Got it?"

So the guy runs again around the next blocca and faces her again: "Would you let me bite your breasts just

once for $10,000?"

se thincas about it for a while and "Hmmm $10,000, eh?, Oca, just once, but not here. Let-sa go to that darca alley over there".

So they went to that alley and se tacaes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them he jumps at them and starts caressing them, fondling them, caissing them, burying his face in them, but not biting.

In the end the woman gets all annoyed and ascas:

"Are you gonna bite them or what?"

"Nah", he replies. "Too expensive!!"