The "Perfect" Day!

The Perfect Day According To... HER 8:45 - Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 - 5 pounds lighter on the scale 9:30 - Light breakfast 11:00 - Sunbathe 12:30 - Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 - Shopping 2:30 - Run into husband's ex - notice she's gained 30lbs. 3:00 - Facial, massage, nap 7:30 - Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10:00 - Make love 11:30 - Pillow talk in his big strong arms HIM 10:00 - Wake up 10:02 - SEX 10:10 - Big Breakfast 11:30 - Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters 2:15 - Enormous lunch with BEER 3:15 - SEX 3:25 - Play sports with the guys 4:30 - Drink BEER with the guys 6:30 - Meet Claudia Schiffer 6:40 - SEX 6:50 - Huge dinner, more BEER 8:00 - Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer 11:00 - Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER 11:10 - Sleep 2:30 - Fart