Notice of a Class Action Suit

I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens. The following is a list of constant problems: - A constant whining whenever the brain disengages after debating the virtues of the automobile selection process - Overheats when the air/gray matter ratio exceeds rational equilibrium in regard to ones own responsibility to auto maintenance - When mouth is placed in gear, makes loud noise whilst insulting the the auto professional. (see previous item) - Software controlling the "computer" is defective..wild random responses to input stimuli (i.e. "Have you checked the oil..?") - Motor controls are sluggish (i.e. response to traffic light stimuli and expected law abiding response) - Mouth continues to run long after brain has shut off - Touts superior performance, but functions do not perform as advertised - Lifetime warranty is a misnomer. Cannot get problems fixed under any policy - Model not eligible for trade in or replacement under Lemon Law I have attempted to contact the manufacturer of this model regarding these issues, but I have received no response. I can only assume that this creator does not stand by the product in question. Therefore, I am directing my attorney to file a Class Action suit on behalf of myself and my family. The basis for this suit is that the manufacturer did knowingly produce a defective product. Interested parties make contact my attorney: U. B. Taken 1-800-Get-Away or write: 7734 Geton Withit Ave. Getalife, Hades 12345-678