Cool Bumper Stickers!

Cool Bumper Stickers -Jesus is coming, everyone look busy. -A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. -Horn broken, watch for finger. -My kid had sex with your honor student. -If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished. -Help wanted telepath: You know where to apply. -I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. -Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. -I'm just driving this way to piss you off. -Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading. -Hang up and drive. -Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. -Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. -If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? -Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. -I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers. -Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" till you can find a rock. -I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. -The gene pool could use a little chlorine. -We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. -Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! -Make it idiotproof and someone will make a better idiot. -I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! -He who laughs last thinks slowest! -Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. -A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. -There's too much blood in my caffeine system. -What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? -Assassins do it from behind. -If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. -Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. -I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. -Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. -I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. -Where there's a will, I want to be in it. -Few women admit their age...few men act theirs. -We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? -Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. -"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.